Two weeks ago, I was walking home on a Saturday night. I had missed my bus, and was trying to decide whether I should walk the rest of the way home or sit it out. A (cute) young gentleman happened to stop and ask if I were lost. I explained my plight, and decided to walk with him, as he was walking my way.
We got to chatting about what we do, what we want to do in life, mathematical, scientific, and financial literacy, among other things. About 2/3 of the way, it somehow came up that he had been in Scouting as a tween, and that I was still an active member of Guiding.
"Oh, so you're a feminist then."
"Yes, I am."
"So you believe in gender roles." (please notice that is a statement, not a question. This is about the time I lost interest)
"Quite the opposite, actually."
"Well, but your mother can only be your mother." (fawning over the eloquence...)
"Nope...my dad stayed home to take care of us when we were kids. Really, 'mother' and 'father' are just names, we could call them 'Jack' and 'Jill' and they would still be my parents"
"Yeah, but only your mother can like, give birth to you."
"OH, so you're talking about sex/biological roles."
"Gender roles"
"Gender isn't...a binary thing..."
"Well your definition of gender is a lot more lenient than mine"
Needless to say, I was unimpressed with his narrow-minded definition and understanding of gender, sex, and what "gender roles" are and what they imply. The real cherry on top, however, was when he said I was "just made because [he] called [me] out on being a feminist."
Let's just say that I am not, nor will ever be, ashamed of being a feminist.
I believe that everyone deserves equal treatment and equal rights.
I know that this is not currently a reality.
I know that some people are doing everything they can to fight this inequality.
I know that some days, I don't do enough.
I believe that wanting to facilitate change is not enough.
I know that it is better than nothing.
I know that I am a feminist, and I will not tolerate someone using it as an insult against me.
I believe that people of my generation who are uneducated about gender do not deserve my time unless they are willing to participate in conversation and are open to being educated.
And I believe that it is OK to take a chance and talk to a stranger and risk idiotic conversations.
