Taking Stock {2}

A few weeks (months?) ago I posted this list, (which I borrowed from Keira, who I think got it from Sydney?) I was skimming through my past (14) posts, and thought it might be nice to revisit. 

Making: Time to relax. 
Cooking: with gas! (I wish.)
Drinking: watah. 
Reading: The Spectacular Now. I gave up on Longbourn. I also have Math in Minutes on the go. 
Wanting: To be at 309.
Looking: at snow banks. 
(quit) Playing: games with my heart
Wasting: Time in bed. Sleeping and re-watching The Newsroom. 
Sewing: mittens. Hopefully. Knitting them, really. 
Wishing: I was at 309.
Enjoying: The snow. 
Waiting: For Christmas!
Liking: this Christmas season and the parties it brings. 
Wondering: what the weather will bring tomorrow.
Loving: The Newsroom
Hoping: To make it to 309 for Christmas. (Can you sense a theme?)
Marvelling: At how awful the weather is, and how many friends have been affected in their desire to get home for Christmas. 
Needing: more sleep.
Smelling: Dog.
Wearing: pyjamas.
Following: the weather channel
Noticing: the little things
Knowing: that I should go to sleep.
Thinking: about Christmas
Feeling: cold feet. Literally. 
Bookmarking: Christmas shopping ideas. 
Opening: nothing yet! It's not Christmas for four more sleeps. 
Giggling: over children's antics and camp friends' ridiculousness. 

December Goals

I realize that it is almost half-way through December.

AND YES! I realize I didn't really get through any of my November goals. Although I have a partial draft of my methods section down, which is nice. Hoping to finish that up in the next few days.

In any case, here are my little golden goals for December:

1. Cherish.
I live three (more like five, technically) provinces away from home. I am lucky enough to have four weeks at my disposal to spend at home over the holidays, and I want to cherish every moment. I want to squeeze all possible joy out of those four weeks, so when it comes time for me to board my flight back and I start to bawl my eyes out, I can know that I did not waste any of my time at home.

2. Produce!
Thesis is the state of my life. While I am home, I will be writing. That can't be helped. I am hoping that my desire to see friends and family and do home-y things will prompt me to be more productive when I set aside the time to get down to work. The sooner I write it out, the sooner I can defend and move on to the next portion of my life. I have also added specific blogging time into my calendar, in hopes of getting regular content hitting this airwave. (Thanks for the reminder, B!)

3. Laugh.
I've realized lately that I haven't been laughing as much, or nearly as deeply, as I have in the past. My system needs a reset, and I need to get my internal joy back.

4. Give.
Time, money, presents, love, joy, jokes. Give back to those who support me, and those who need support.

5. Refresh.
This has been the longest I have ever gone without setting foot in my hometown. As much as I love the city in which I live right now, there is nothing quite like going home for a "vacation" to refresh your spirit and soul.

Sharing Games

Heads up: we're getting sentimental up in here.

Last night, two of my very dear friends got engaged.

To be MARRIED. 

A few friends gathered at their house to surprise, celebrate and congratulate on their arrival home. Needless to say, I think, there was (lots of) champagne(-y watah, let's be serious) involved. And a lot of hugs. And a few tears of joy.

Sometimes, I'm not sure why, when I tell people that friends of mine have recently been engaged, they ask me how long they've been together. If I say less than three years, I usually get something along the lines of "oh, really?" and then feel the need to justify someone else's life decisions to someone completely unaffected.

I've known "the groom" (how weird is that?!) for five years and two (and a half?) girlfriends, including "the bride." At one point last night, he looked at me and said "you know the last one(s), can you imagine if I had...?!" I don't know if I said anything over the look I gave him. We kind of grinned at each other. BIG NO on that one.
Besides, who am I, who is anybody, to tell someone who they should love, how much, and when? Seriously.

All night, sitting in a room with so much joy and love, I couldn't help but reflect on how lucky I am to have such loving people in my life. People who are so in love with each other they want to spend their lives together. People who love others so much they want to involve everyone they can in THEIR special day. (Groomie made a video of congratulations from friends, and planned a "surprise" party when they got home. She knew allll about it.) People who have nothing but good things to say about each other. People who cry tears of happiness when others' dreams come true. And most important, people who have faith in each other, and support each other in all life pursuits.

So here's to another happy couple. I wish you both the best of everything, even when it seems the worst. I can only hope that someday I will be as lucky as you.

November Goals

1. Write the blog post I have been planning about an article I read on chivalry. Three weeks ago.
2. Draft of the methods section of my thesis.
3. Draft of the lit review section of my thesis (expected to be much rougher than the above).
4. Get out of the house more. Run more. Walk more. Bike more. DO more.
5. Drink more tea. Eat less cookies...in one sitting.
6. Appreciate.

Thank Goodness!

On this holiday Monday, a day of giving thanks, I thought it might be nice to recap some things that I am thankful for this year.

1. My family. My parents, little brother, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, baby cousins, the whole shebang! They are wonderful, loving, crazy individuals. I don't live in the same province as any of them, and it hurts my soul and breaks my heart a little bit. I miss them like crazy all the time. BUT I get to see one piece of my family unit next weekend :).

2. My friends. Supportive, loving, concerned, good listeners, snappy dancers that they are. They keep me sane, laughing, and dancing. What more could you ask for?

3. My health. Big one here. I am very lucky to have only minor health complaints. (helloooo cold hands and feet!)

4. Having a place to call home. A roof over my head, and food on the table. Many people are not so lucky.

5. The know-how to do many (but definitely all) things that get me by in life. I am a relatively self-sufficient person, and this is a gift. I also know that if I need help, I have a plethora of people to call on (see numbers 1 & 2).

6. And finally, I am thankful to be alive. To be able to wake up each morning and experience everything is amazing, something that I, and many others, can often take for granted.

On Being Friends...With Myself

Some of you know, some of you don't know, but I've been living alone for the past 10 days. In a two bedroom apartment. Other than my single dorm-room in my first two years of university, which let's face it doesn't really count, I've never lived alone.

Let me tell you: when the weather gets gloomy, this basement of mine gets chilly - in more ways than one. It probably doesn't help my case that for the last 13 months, I've lived in the same apartment, but with a room mate. So to wake up and come home to an empty apartment is more than a little disconcerting. I've been feeling a little bit lonesome, which isn't helped any by spending days alone in my office.

And then yesterday, a friend told me something very interesting:

"It's a good time to learn how to be your own best friend."

Wow.
I let that sink in a bit.

Last night, I took myself out to a concert. A favourite female artist was in town, and I haven't seen her live in about 8 years and three albums. All of my friends were busy, but I really wanted to go, so I went alone.

And it was amazing. 

I sat in the back, beside an older gentleman who also came alone. I didn't really talk to anyone, just sat in this room full of people who enjoy the same music as I do. I think it would not have been so wonderful had I taken a friend who didn't know her music, who she was, or like her type of music - or wouldn't appreciate her hippie-dippy, earth hugging quality. It was nice to sit back and reflect on my own - kind of like going to the orchestra, which I found to be a pretty personal event, even though I went with a friend (hi T!) and nice that I didn't have to validate my appreciation to anyone. At the end of the night, I got up, asked the organizers for a schedule of upcoming artists, and went home. Alone. To listen to more of her music. (I'm still listening now, 18 hours later.)

All through the concert, I was thinking about what my friend had said earlier that day. What does it mean to be your own best friend? To me, this past week, it has been about doing the things I want to do, even if no one else is interested or available. My first year in this city has helped me grow into someone who can do that. It took me a year and a half to become someone who could eat alone in meal hall in my undergrad. This isn't to say that it's my favourite thing to do. Just that I've come to terms with the fact that not having people with (certain) similar interests isn't the worst thing, and doesn't mean that I have to miss out on my favourite things. I have one friend who would have come with me last night, but school and work kept him away. And that's OK. I never knew he liked this artist, so now it's something else we have in common, which is wonderful.

The one downside of becoming my own best friend: I have started to avoid social gatherings where I won't know a lot of people, something that's never really bothered me before. I don't know if it's the group of acquaintances I've developed out here, or just where I am in my life, but if I know there's going to be an event with a large group of people, all of whom know each other, I try to avoid. I haven't been home in a few months, so I can't say for sure, but I tend to think it has more to do with the group of people I know here. Or go for limited amounts of time. It's much more comforting to go home to a hot fireplace, a nice mug of tea (or wine!) and a good book. Sometimes, at least.

What are your thoughts on being your own best friend? Have you always been that way? Are you striving for it? How did you get there?

Week in review

Things that happened this week:
1. I had two friends come share my office with me for an afternoon, on separate days of the week
2. SOUP DAY IS BACK
3. Soup this week was butternut squash - with coconut milk!
4. Room mate moved OUT! Gone gone gone.
5. It was sunny and I got to wear my boots (that are not waterproof and leak through the bottom)
6. Good thesis meetings. I finally feel like I'm going somewhere.

Things that are coming up this week
1. More thesis meetings! Getting things underway. Finally.
2. Going dancing tomorrow night!
3. I have a date this week. I think. I should.
4. Thanksgiving is coming up! Might be cooking my own turkey.
5. More sleep than last week. That's all I want in life.
6. New rain boots? Maybe?

Saturday Six

Six great things about this week:
1. My parents were visiting!
2. That meant a road-trip to the island!
3. It was sunny two days in a row
4. I got smoked salmon in the mail. om nom nom.
5. I finished the book I was reading, read two more, and started a new one.
6. Friends, family, food, wine.

Six things I am looking forward to for next week:
1. Meetings about my thesis! Hoping to get my hands on data.
2. Starting to write my thesis. It's going to be a process, and the sooner I start the better. I think.
3. A friend defends her thesis on Friday. That means party time.
4. My current room mate moves out, I get a new one!
5. I washed and re-waterproofed my rain coat. Hopefully there has been an improvement!
6. Volunteering with Let's Talk Science

"fall"

the rain is back.

Taking Stock {1}

One blog I follow posted her own version of this early this morning, and I thought it might be a good way to get ready to head in to fall.

Making: Progress. Kind of.
Cooking: Chicken noodle soup. Just add water variety.
Drinking: Lemon ginger tea
Reading: The 100 year old man who climbed out the window and disappeared (first book on my kobo!)
Wanting: To not have this cold, summer to go on for ever, and to travel.
Looking: Forward.
(quit) Playing: games with my heart
Wasting: Time in bed watching One Tree Hill
Sewing: Dreams
Wishing: For all my room mate troubles to go away
Enjoying: The last days of summer before the rain comes
Waiting: For Saturday! parents come to visit
Liking: Wool socks on cold basement floors
Wondering: What speed dating will be like.
Loving: This collection of Disney princesses wearing their boys' clothes
Hoping: To find answers to the questions
Marvelling: At how lucky I am
Needing: A hug
Smelling: Nothing. Sinus infections suck.
Wearing: Bare feet and Birkenstocks.
Following: My dreams
Noticing: How quickly the weather is turning from summer to fall
Knowing: That everything will work out in the end.
Thinking: About life, my thesis, and adventures
Feeling: Under the weather
Bookmarking: Slow cooker recipes
Opening: Doors and opportunities
Giggling: Over wine and chick flicks. or I will be tomorrow at least.

BirkenLove

I saw this article in Vogue a few weeks (months?) back and kind of took issue with it. On the one hand, it was great to see Birkenstocks (and sandals with actual support in general) being touted as something more than uniform for folk-festival-attending-hippie-dippy types. On the other hand, it was horrible to see them being touted as a "high fashion" choice - but only in fancy prints and certain styles. The article was then brought back to my attention when a blog I follow "caved" and bought her first pair - and seemed seriously conflicted about it.

I've been wearing Birkenstocks since Grade 12. It took me (at least) 12 months to find the perfect pair.

They had three straps (Florida is the style, if you were wondering) and came in a fantastic orange pattern. They also happened to be on sale for $66 at the end of the season, and to this day (7 years later) I've only ever seen one other person wearing Birks of the same pattern. They are one of a kind, have been completely resoled, and I had a strap fixed too. I will do everything I can to wear these babies forever.

I also own two pairs of two-strap (classic Arizona style) and a pair of clogs (I'm a four-season Birk-wearing girl), and am constantly lusting after some new pair or another. I have a problem.

And so, to see Birkenstocks coming to light as the "it" footwear of the moment by a group other than high school seniors, college kids, "hipsters" (defined however you should choose) and all around casual people...kind of hit me somewhere.

Birkenstocks are, to me, more about a lifestyle than a fashion choice. I wear them because I a- need the support, and b- think they are easy and go with everything in most situations. I feel like they should be an easy choice - not something stressed over and debated. You should love your Birks. Love your Birks and they will love you. Birkenstocks should not be about finding a pair in cool patterns, with some glitz and sparkle. Find the pair that fits your foot, fits your style, and fits your day-to-day life.

As a friend said to me recently "I'm just not laid-back enough to pull them off, so I stick with my flip flops." They don't work for her, and she doesn't push it. To me, that's what it should be all about.

Insomnia

I wrote this last night, while suffering from an extreme bout of insomnia. I figured it would be safer to give it a re-read in the morning instead of posting right away.

It is now 2:30am.
My brain will not stop running, and despite the physical exhaustion that brought me to bed 5 hours ago, I am still awake.
What plagues me this evening? Many things. I give you a list, the first of many, I'm sure.

1. Wishing and hoping about things I can't change, that are out of my control, and from days gone by. Lost causes are best thought about late at night, right?
2. Why can't I sleep? (The ever popular question of the insomniac)
3. I wonder how my meeting is going to go tomorrow? (It's at 11)
4. I guess I can have a coffee in the morning, but that doesn't bode well around 3 in the afternoon, and that's when I'm in class tomorrow.
5. Oooh...what do I want to wear tomorrow? Gotta keep up a good impression for class.
6. Ugh. TAing.
7. I guess I can watch another episode of The Big Bang Theory?
8. Mmmm...they're eating Chinese...what am I going to have for dinner tomorrow? What about lunch?
9. Is it tomorrow yet? Oh wait, it's 2:30am. That is, by definition, tomorrow.
10. If I go to sleep now, I get 5 hours of sleep.
11. Or I could push my alarm back 30 minutes...that would be good.
12. I wonder if there will be a lot of people in The Den tomorrow, I could take a nap.

What is it about Sunday nights that bring such strong insomnia?

Small Goals for September

With a new school year comes new challenges, new adventures, and new accomplishments. In honour of the new month, season, and school year, I've decided to come up with a few small things I'd like to get done this month:

1. Read a book (for fun) a week - I already finished one, so here's to three more!
2. Run 5k
3. Do 5 full push-ups
4. Start statistical analysis of my thesis
5. Create an outline for my thesis and start filling in major points

Writing and Thinking

I started my new courses last week. One of them (stats!) will be great, the other one I am dropping.

I initially registered in the second (qualitative research methods - I know) because it lined up with my thesis project, which initially comprised only of interviews. However in the last two weeks I have completely overhauled my project, and it now only deals with statistics. Having never really done qualitative research, I decided it would make sense for me to at least audit the second course, so that I could benefit from the readings and the discussion. The course even sounded amazing in the first class. But the professor doesn't let people audit her courses, so that's that. I have one more week before I have to drop it, so I will attend that class and get all I can out of it, but for now I only have one beautiful thought to share from that class:

Writing is a way of improving our thinking. 

This was really the push to start this blog. I constantly attempt to keep a journal, but only succeed for a few weeks before I forget and my writing drops off. As I move into the big fat scary writing phase of my Masters degree, hopefully this space will allow me to keep a slightly organized journal of my ideas, if not my personal life, and will lead to keeping a better personal journal offline. I'm currently hesitant to wedge this blog into any "genre" of blog since I don't know where the content will go, or what I will find a passion in. Maybe we'll figure it out on the way, and maybe it will just remain a conglomerate of my own thoughts (and hopefully some of yours!) as I move through this year of my life.

As I have learned in life, some of the best things happen with no planning, but you have to start somewhere.

Begin at the beginning...

...and go on til you come to the end, then stop.
~ The Red King
Alice's Adventures in Wonderland

Welcome to the blog!
I am A, but you can call me Al.