Taking Stock {2}

A few weeks (months?) ago I posted this list, (which I borrowed from Keira, who I think got it from Sydney?) I was skimming through my past (14) posts, and thought it might be nice to revisit. 

Making: Time to relax. 
Cooking: with gas! (I wish.)
Drinking: watah. 
Reading: The Spectacular Now. I gave up on Longbourn. I also have Math in Minutes on the go. 
Wanting: To be at 309.
Looking: at snow banks. 
(quit) Playing: games with my heart
Wasting: Time in bed. Sleeping and re-watching The Newsroom. 
Sewing: mittens. Hopefully. Knitting them, really. 
Wishing: I was at 309.
Enjoying: The snow. 
Waiting: For Christmas!
Liking: this Christmas season and the parties it brings. 
Wondering: what the weather will bring tomorrow.
Loving: The Newsroom
Hoping: To make it to 309 for Christmas. (Can you sense a theme?)
Marvelling: At how awful the weather is, and how many friends have been affected in their desire to get home for Christmas. 
Needing: more sleep.
Smelling: Dog.
Wearing: pyjamas.
Following: the weather channel
Noticing: the little things
Knowing: that I should go to sleep.
Thinking: about Christmas
Feeling: cold feet. Literally. 
Bookmarking: Christmas shopping ideas. 
Opening: nothing yet! It's not Christmas for four more sleeps. 
Giggling: over children's antics and camp friends' ridiculousness. 

December Goals

I realize that it is almost half-way through December.

AND YES! I realize I didn't really get through any of my November goals. Although I have a partial draft of my methods section down, which is nice. Hoping to finish that up in the next few days.

In any case, here are my little golden goals for December:

1. Cherish.
I live three (more like five, technically) provinces away from home. I am lucky enough to have four weeks at my disposal to spend at home over the holidays, and I want to cherish every moment. I want to squeeze all possible joy out of those four weeks, so when it comes time for me to board my flight back and I start to bawl my eyes out, I can know that I did not waste any of my time at home.

2. Produce!
Thesis is the state of my life. While I am home, I will be writing. That can't be helped. I am hoping that my desire to see friends and family and do home-y things will prompt me to be more productive when I set aside the time to get down to work. The sooner I write it out, the sooner I can defend and move on to the next portion of my life. I have also added specific blogging time into my calendar, in hopes of getting regular content hitting this airwave. (Thanks for the reminder, B!)

3. Laugh.
I've realized lately that I haven't been laughing as much, or nearly as deeply, as I have in the past. My system needs a reset, and I need to get my internal joy back.

4. Give.
Time, money, presents, love, joy, jokes. Give back to those who support me, and those who need support.

5. Refresh.
This has been the longest I have ever gone without setting foot in my hometown. As much as I love the city in which I live right now, there is nothing quite like going home for a "vacation" to refresh your spirit and soul.

Sharing Games

Heads up: we're getting sentimental up in here.

Last night, two of my very dear friends got engaged.

To be MARRIED. 

A few friends gathered at their house to surprise, celebrate and congratulate on their arrival home. Needless to say, I think, there was (lots of) champagne(-y watah, let's be serious) involved. And a lot of hugs. And a few tears of joy.

Sometimes, I'm not sure why, when I tell people that friends of mine have recently been engaged, they ask me how long they've been together. If I say less than three years, I usually get something along the lines of "oh, really?" and then feel the need to justify someone else's life decisions to someone completely unaffected.

I've known "the groom" (how weird is that?!) for five years and two (and a half?) girlfriends, including "the bride." At one point last night, he looked at me and said "you know the last one(s), can you imagine if I had...?!" I don't know if I said anything over the look I gave him. We kind of grinned at each other. BIG NO on that one.
Besides, who am I, who is anybody, to tell someone who they should love, how much, and when? Seriously.

All night, sitting in a room with so much joy and love, I couldn't help but reflect on how lucky I am to have such loving people in my life. People who are so in love with each other they want to spend their lives together. People who love others so much they want to involve everyone they can in THEIR special day. (Groomie made a video of congratulations from friends, and planned a "surprise" party when they got home. She knew allll about it.) People who have nothing but good things to say about each other. People who cry tears of happiness when others' dreams come true. And most important, people who have faith in each other, and support each other in all life pursuits.

So here's to another happy couple. I wish you both the best of everything, even when it seems the worst. I can only hope that someday I will be as lucky as you.

November Goals

1. Write the blog post I have been planning about an article I read on chivalry. Three weeks ago.
2. Draft of the methods section of my thesis.
3. Draft of the lit review section of my thesis (expected to be much rougher than the above).
4. Get out of the house more. Run more. Walk more. Bike more. DO more.
5. Drink more tea. Eat less cookies...in one sitting.
6. Appreciate.

Thank Goodness!

On this holiday Monday, a day of giving thanks, I thought it might be nice to recap some things that I am thankful for this year.

1. My family. My parents, little brother, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, baby cousins, the whole shebang! They are wonderful, loving, crazy individuals. I don't live in the same province as any of them, and it hurts my soul and breaks my heart a little bit. I miss them like crazy all the time. BUT I get to see one piece of my family unit next weekend :).

2. My friends. Supportive, loving, concerned, good listeners, snappy dancers that they are. They keep me sane, laughing, and dancing. What more could you ask for?

3. My health. Big one here. I am very lucky to have only minor health complaints. (helloooo cold hands and feet!)

4. Having a place to call home. A roof over my head, and food on the table. Many people are not so lucky.

5. The know-how to do many (but definitely all) things that get me by in life. I am a relatively self-sufficient person, and this is a gift. I also know that if I need help, I have a plethora of people to call on (see numbers 1 & 2).

6. And finally, I am thankful to be alive. To be able to wake up each morning and experience everything is amazing, something that I, and many others, can often take for granted.

On Being Friends...With Myself

Some of you know, some of you don't know, but I've been living alone for the past 10 days. In a two bedroom apartment. Other than my single dorm-room in my first two years of university, which let's face it doesn't really count, I've never lived alone.

Let me tell you: when the weather gets gloomy, this basement of mine gets chilly - in more ways than one. It probably doesn't help my case that for the last 13 months, I've lived in the same apartment, but with a room mate. So to wake up and come home to an empty apartment is more than a little disconcerting. I've been feeling a little bit lonesome, which isn't helped any by spending days alone in my office.

And then yesterday, a friend told me something very interesting:

"It's a good time to learn how to be your own best friend."

Wow.
I let that sink in a bit.

Last night, I took myself out to a concert. A favourite female artist was in town, and I haven't seen her live in about 8 years and three albums. All of my friends were busy, but I really wanted to go, so I went alone.

And it was amazing. 

I sat in the back, beside an older gentleman who also came alone. I didn't really talk to anyone, just sat in this room full of people who enjoy the same music as I do. I think it would not have been so wonderful had I taken a friend who didn't know her music, who she was, or like her type of music - or wouldn't appreciate her hippie-dippy, earth hugging quality. It was nice to sit back and reflect on my own - kind of like going to the orchestra, which I found to be a pretty personal event, even though I went with a friend (hi T!) and nice that I didn't have to validate my appreciation to anyone. At the end of the night, I got up, asked the organizers for a schedule of upcoming artists, and went home. Alone. To listen to more of her music. (I'm still listening now, 18 hours later.)

All through the concert, I was thinking about what my friend had said earlier that day. What does it mean to be your own best friend? To me, this past week, it has been about doing the things I want to do, even if no one else is interested or available. My first year in this city has helped me grow into someone who can do that. It took me a year and a half to become someone who could eat alone in meal hall in my undergrad. This isn't to say that it's my favourite thing to do. Just that I've come to terms with the fact that not having people with (certain) similar interests isn't the worst thing, and doesn't mean that I have to miss out on my favourite things. I have one friend who would have come with me last night, but school and work kept him away. And that's OK. I never knew he liked this artist, so now it's something else we have in common, which is wonderful.

The one downside of becoming my own best friend: I have started to avoid social gatherings where I won't know a lot of people, something that's never really bothered me before. I don't know if it's the group of acquaintances I've developed out here, or just where I am in my life, but if I know there's going to be an event with a large group of people, all of whom know each other, I try to avoid. I haven't been home in a few months, so I can't say for sure, but I tend to think it has more to do with the group of people I know here. Or go for limited amounts of time. It's much more comforting to go home to a hot fireplace, a nice mug of tea (or wine!) and a good book. Sometimes, at least.

What are your thoughts on being your own best friend? Have you always been that way? Are you striving for it? How did you get there?

Week in review

Things that happened this week:
1. I had two friends come share my office with me for an afternoon, on separate days of the week
2. SOUP DAY IS BACK
3. Soup this week was butternut squash - with coconut milk!
4. Room mate moved OUT! Gone gone gone.
5. It was sunny and I got to wear my boots (that are not waterproof and leak through the bottom)
6. Good thesis meetings. I finally feel like I'm going somewhere.

Things that are coming up this week
1. More thesis meetings! Getting things underway. Finally.
2. Going dancing tomorrow night!
3. I have a date this week. I think. I should.
4. Thanksgiving is coming up! Might be cooking my own turkey.
5. More sleep than last week. That's all I want in life.
6. New rain boots? Maybe?